Alba-Iulia
Another day, another short trip with Mikey and Buni. On Thursday afternoon we head to Alba Iulia, 1 1/2 hours away by bus. This time we visit a cousin from my father's side. I think we only saw each other 3 times in this lifetime, and the first time I was so little I don't even remember it; then we saw each other at my father's funeral and again at my brother's wedding. But we kept up on Facebook so we decide it's time for a little family reunion.
Constanta and Noah pick us up at the bus stop. We figure Mikey is Noah's uncle, but Noah is a month older than Mikey. Regardless of the relationship, we hope they will get along despite the language differences. We head to their house, eat dinner then go to the Citadel.
I visited Alba Iulia when I was in 5th or 6th grade, on a field trip. I have blurry memories. I remember an old town, dirty, hot, dusty, desolated - much like any other communist town of that era. I remember some ruins, maybe a gate, from the Roman times, and the Union Hall where, on December 1st 1918, the proclamation of the union of Transylvania with Romania was signed. I have heard that Alba Iulia is much changed now, with the medival citadel brought back to light, so this is an extra incentive to go visit.
During communist times, the Citadel was deliberately buried and covered, with a park built on top of it. In 2013, with European funds, the Citadel was dug out and restored, with a beautiful end result. Of course we only have one hour there which is enough to get a taste of the Citadel: old walls, ramparts, bridges, tunnels, churches and statues.
Back at Constanta's house, the boys play while we chill in the kitchen drinking beer. I watch her. She's small and lean, with bond hair and blue eyes. She talks fast, and talks a lot. She moves quickly and her presence fills the whole kitchen. She reminds me of my father, and I am glad to be reconnected with his side of the family. His brothers and sisters, nephews and nieces are all over the country. They grew up orphaned, 11 children, and although they saw each other once in a while, for my family at least, there was not a permanent or stable connection. So I don't know many of my relatives on his side, but now I think maybe we can get back in touch a little.
On Friday morning we head out to their country cottage, 45 minutes away from Alba Iulia. There, a different life: hills covered in forests, a little creek on the side of the property, a nice garden, and flowers. We try to teach Mikey how to cut grass using a long handle scythe; we pick up grass and feed the bunnies; the boys play a bit of tag and explore in the creek.
But those moments are rare. Secondly, these are relationships that are important to me, as a grown up, but not to him. He cares about going to the pool and the playground, about playing with dinosaurs and reading about mythology, about ice cream and Fanta. I care about connecting and reconnecting. We are on the same trip, but on different journeys, and as much as it pains me, I have to concede defeat on this one and let him be.
We leave late in the evening, after renewing our energy with a day at the cottage. Again, I am grateful for the opportunity to see Constanta and meet Noah, and I hope that we will be able to see each other again. At least, we plan for a longer trip next time, so the boys can spend more time together, so we can take the whole tour of the Citadel, and so that we can continue to build this family connection. To quote my dear Wanda: "Family priceless"!
July 12-13, 2018
Constanta and Noah pick us up at the bus stop. We figure Mikey is Noah's uncle, but Noah is a month older than Mikey. Regardless of the relationship, we hope they will get along despite the language differences. We head to their house, eat dinner then go to the Citadel.
I visited Alba Iulia when I was in 5th or 6th grade, on a field trip. I have blurry memories. I remember an old town, dirty, hot, dusty, desolated - much like any other communist town of that era. I remember some ruins, maybe a gate, from the Roman times, and the Union Hall where, on December 1st 1918, the proclamation of the union of Transylvania with Romania was signed. I have heard that Alba Iulia is much changed now, with the medival citadel brought back to light, so this is an extra incentive to go visit.
During communist times, the Citadel was deliberately buried and covered, with a park built on top of it. In 2013, with European funds, the Citadel was dug out and restored, with a beautiful end result. Of course we only have one hour there which is enough to get a taste of the Citadel: old walls, ramparts, bridges, tunnels, churches and statues.
Old bridge
View of the citadel
Coronation Cathedral
Old tunnel
Back at Constanta's house, the boys play while we chill in the kitchen drinking beer. I watch her. She's small and lean, with bond hair and blue eyes. She talks fast, and talks a lot. She moves quickly and her presence fills the whole kitchen. She reminds me of my father, and I am glad to be reconnected with his side of the family. His brothers and sisters, nephews and nieces are all over the country. They grew up orphaned, 11 children, and although they saw each other once in a while, for my family at least, there was not a permanent or stable connection. So I don't know many of my relatives on his side, but now I think maybe we can get back in touch a little.
Constanta
On Friday morning we head out to their country cottage, 45 minutes away from Alba Iulia. There, a different life: hills covered in forests, a little creek on the side of the property, a nice garden, and flowers. We try to teach Mikey how to cut grass using a long handle scythe; we pick up grass and feed the bunnies; the boys play a bit of tag and explore in the creek.
Romanian lawn mower
The smell of freshly cut grass!
At the creek
Then we sit in the kitchen and chill while Constanta cooks. By now Mikey and Noah are doing things separately. Mikey is having a hard time, again because of the language and the pressure to make new friends. Noah is more flexible, eager to play and please, while my child is being stubborn like a mule and insists on having "alone time". I am saddened for this, and I finally understand his behavior over the past couple of weeks. First, there is the language barrier, as he speaks only a few words of Romanian. And this is entirely my fault. This in itself isolates him from other children, and the fact that he is so sensitive and shy does not help. There are of course those moments when he bridges the gap and is able to play with other children, regardless of the language spoken, because tag and hide and seek and kid's play transcend any language. 
Priest with children one of the many bronze statues in Alba Iulia
Chasing lizards
Exploring
We leave late in the evening, after renewing our energy with a day at the cottage. Again, I am grateful for the opportunity to see Constanta and meet Noah, and I hope that we will be able to see each other again. At least, we plan for a longer trip next time, so the boys can spend more time together, so we can take the whole tour of the Citadel, and so that we can continue to build this family connection. To quote my dear Wanda: "Family priceless"!
With Buni, Constanta, Mikey and Noah
With my sweet nephew Noah
July 12-13, 2018
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